Dear Kelly: Clean and Confused

Dear Kelly,

My friend used to be a great person with really high morals. Growing up, we would play innocent games and practically finish eachother’s sentences. Now that the stress of high school is catching up to her, she is turning to drugs, alcohol and partying and we are growing apart.  I really want to confront her about how dangerous she is being, but I’m scared that she will cut all ties with me because I disagree with her actions. How can I say how I feel without being left in the dust?


       Clean and Confused


Dear Clean and Confused,

Thank you for writing me, as this seems to be a common dilemma with teens. More importantly though, thank you for staying away from drugs and alcohol and not caving to peer pressure because that takes a lot of strength and good will nowadays.

Regarding the sticky situation with your friend, it is best that you come forward and tell her what you told me, but in a comforting fashion. Say how you are worried for her and that drugs and alcohol only start problems, not stop them. I do not recommend telling her that she is being stupid or shunning her because that will drive her away. If said friend decides to keep partying regardless of what you say, it’s best that you stay close, but find new friends. Although you might’ve been close growing up, if she choses to keep this unhealthy lifestyle, she clearly doesn’t respect your opinion which is necessary in a relationship of any kind.

However, if she considers your views and wants to change for the better, focus on the present, and not the past. If she has gotten seriously addicted, suggest alcoholics anonymous or maybe mention the help of a therapist. I wish you the best of luck and try to stay strong and confident no matter what!